KENNESAW, GA — For the first time in human history, a student was overheard complaining that her professor “doesn’t teach the way she learns.”
Freshman Allison Crabbe was on the phone with her mother when the elder Crabbe asked her daughter how her classes were going so far. Allison set about laying the groundwork for what she anticipated would be the much-needed excuse for her impending failure in Chem 101.
“I’m really just a visual learner,” she was heard saying.
Word got back around to professor Cartwright, prompting her to redesign her curriculum to fit Allison’s learning needs. While the rest of the class quickly grew disgruntled with having to make slideshows for every report, Allison felt much more in her comfort zone with their new visual-heavy assignments.
“Screw those other kids,” said Allison’s mother. “My Alley-cat can change the world.”
Since this is the first time in recorded history a student has complained about a professor’s teaching style, many fear it may be some type of viral disease. Professor Cartwright is being lauded for taking preventative measures to ensure that Allison’s complaining didn’t spread further throughout the college.