Politics

Biden Unveils New Hairstyle Ahead of Second Debate

PHILADELPHIA — On Wednesday, presidential hopeful Joe Biden unveiled his new look, ahead of the 2nd Democratic debate in Detroit later this month.

“Joe’s numbers with African Americans fell noticeably, after Kamala Harris viciously attacked him during the first debate,” Biden’s campaign manager, Greg Schultz, explained in an interview with The Millennial Snowflake. “Joe just wants to show his black constituents that he understands and cares about them. He hopes that this will prove once and for all that he is not, nor has he ever been, a racist.”

Schultz was quick to defend Biden against what critics referred to as “blatant pandering and cultural appropriation.”

“First of all, I don’t understand how Joe wearing his hair a certain way constitutes ‘pandering.’ He’s just expressing himself. Second, we have to remember that Joe is a product of a different era. He doesn’t believe in new-fangled notions like ’cultural appropriation.’ He sees such ideas as racist and divisive in and of themselves. We’re a melting pot, a mix of many different cultures, and Joe just wants to unite the country by celebrating that.”

The second round of Democratic debates will take place on July 30th and 31st.

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