Politics

Bandana-wearing, Blazed Steve Bannon Thrilled to Get Back to Jamming with His Band “Everything’s Alt-Right”

Steve Bannon smiles as he eyes his future.

LOS ANGELES — A bandana-wearing Steve Bannon, kicked his cowboy boots up on his desk, and leaned back, cooly blowing pungent marijuana smoke around his West LA Breitbart News office. The recently dismissed White House Chief Strategist set his roach in the ashtray, and turned down the Johnny Rebel blaring on his hand-carved pinewood speakers.

“I’m back in business baby,” he winked. “I know the inner-workings, ya dig? The ins-and-outs of the establishment. I was the voice in the Man’s head. Now I’m back in charge Breitbart, and we’re gonna be stronger than ever, but that’s not what feeds my soul.”

Bannon licked his crusty lips and grinned. “Check this shit out,” he said, with a devilish glint in his eye. He opened up his iTunes and pressed play. He bit the scab on his lower lip and started bobbing his head. “That’s me,” he said, motioning in the air, tracing the screeching vocals with his finger before playing the air guitar. “Sweet solo, right?”

“When I’m not running Breitbart — which I love, but it can be a real drag — I’m gonna be shredding the axe with my band “Everything’s Alt-Right.” We have kind of a cult following among the skinheads, and we’re about to go on tour to promote our new album Puppet Master.”

Bannon says his singing-style is a mix of Axl Rose and Steven Tyler, a fact he says is backed up by two of his songs, Everything’s Gonna Be Alt-Right, and Immigrants Be Gone trending popularity on the iTunes charts.

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