Posts By Connor Garrett
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296LocalShocking New Study Reveals Face Tattoos Sign of Impulsive Decision-Making
CAMBRIDGE, MA — In what many are calling the single most shocking study of the 21st century, Harvard researchers found that people...
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1.5KEntertainmentKanye West Announces He Will Run for Presidency on Pro-Slavery Platform in 2020
CHICAGO, IL — The polarizing provocateur and rapper-turned fashion mogul Kanye West announced that he will look to add another credential to...
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304Top StoryStudy Shows Women Have Happier Relationships When Their Partners Become A Vibrator
Think that your girlfriend likes it when you send her that good morning text? Think she likes it when you bring her...
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1.6KLocalHow You Can Use This Whole Blood Moon Lunar Eclipse Thing to Justify Your Batshit Crazy Behavior Based On Your Horoscope
Mars is making its closest approach to Earth in 15 years, right as the full moon blushes red in the longest blood...
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446Top StoryNew Report Finds Sliding On Hardwood Floors While Playing Air Guitar In Footie Pajamas Fastest-Rising Cause of Adult Deaths In United States
ATLANTA, GA — Shedding light on the dangers of jamming too hard, a new report published Wednesday found that the fastest-rising cause...
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461LocalStudy Finds Valentine’s Day More Dangerous Than 4th of July
Naturally, many would assume that July Fourth, the most explosive holiday next to New Year’s, is the most dangerous. As it turns...
