Posts By Connor Garrett
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157PoliticsTrump Announces Death of Wicked Witch, Body Melted by Water During Raid
Addressing the nation from the White House Sunday morning, Trump described a daring airborne raid by American special operations forces on the...
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509LocalA Brief History and A Glimpse Into The Future of Atlanta
2012: Atlantans pretend to be rich because we are just a bunch of hillbillies who don’t want to admit to a middle...
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315LocalPathetic Beta Gets A Side of Shame with His Sad Salad
Frequent customers of the salad chain Salad Tosser report that Donathan Jildo, a pathetic beta, ordered a sad salad indicative of a...
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302LocalUber Driver Has Book In His Head, Doesn’t Know How to Write It, but You Could and He’ll Share The Profits With You!
ATLANTA, GA — After hearing his passenger was an author and experiencing a brief moment of hesitation, Uber driver Tom White told...
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965LocalShocking New Study Reveals Face Tattoos Sign of Impulsive Decision-Making
CAMBRIDGE, MA — In what many are calling the single most shocking study of the 21st century, Harvard researchers found that people...
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1.8KEntertainmentKanye West Announces He Will Run for Presidency on Pro-Slavery Platform in 2020
CHICAGO, IL — The polarizing provocateur and rapper-turned fashion mogul Kanye West announced that he will look to add another credential to...
