Posts By Connor Garrett
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13LocalPathetic Beta Gets A Side of Shame with His Sad Salad
Frequent customers of the salad chain Salad Tosser report that Donathan Jildo, a pathetic beta, ordered a sad salad indicative of a...
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101LocalUber Driver Has Book In His Head, Doesn’t Know How to Write It, but You Could and He’ll Share The Profits With You!
ATLANTA, GA — After hearing his passenger was an author and experiencing a brief moment of hesitation, Uber driver Tom White told...
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580LocalShocking New Study Reveals Face Tattoos Sign of Impulsive Decision-Making
CAMBRIDGE, MA — In what many are calling the single most shocking study of the 21st century, Harvard researchers found that people...
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1.5KEntertainmentKanye West Announces He Will Run for Presidency on Pro-Slavery Platform in 2020
CHICAGO, IL — The polarizing provocateur and rapper-turned fashion mogul Kanye West announced that he will look to add another credential to...
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354Top StoryStudy Shows Women Have Happier Relationships When Their Partners Become A Vibrator
Think that your girlfriend likes it when you send her that good morning text? Think she likes it when you bring her...
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1.7KLocalHow You Can Use This Whole Blood Moon Lunar Eclipse Thing to Justify Your Batshit Crazy Behavior Based On Your Horoscope
Mars is making its closest approach to Earth in 15 years, right as the full moon blushes red in the longest blood...
