MEMPHIS — Area woman Amanda Griffith unknowingly swiped left on her soulmate, dooming her to a loveless future till the day she dies a lonely old cat lady. As Griffith hastily swiped through potential partners, per usual habit, she caught a glimpse of an average-looking man, whom, with the fateful flick of her thumb, she discarded into the dating abyss.
Griffith states clearly on her bio that she’s looking for a man over 6 feet tall, and at first glance, her soulmate’s selfie, angled downwards, made him appear to be below her minimum height requirements.
“How could I have known he was six-two?” said Griffith upon learning his real stats.
To make matters worse, her rejected soulmate would rather be punched in the throat than to have to “tell you a bit about himself” in a couple of words. To counter his reluctance to do so in the first place, Griffith’s soulmate chose the sarcastic route:
If you want equality, I’m your guy. Won’t hold doors, will expect you to split the bill, and no, I won’t let you win at things.
Unfortunately, as chivalry continues to be obliterated by modern dating culture, Griffith had zero way of knowing her soulmate was the mirror opposite of his bio, and took his words at face-value.
Now, she is destined for a series of bad Tinder dates, and short-lived flings with a variety of fuckboys. All the while, he continues to search for his Tinderella, but the glass slipper was shattered a thousand swipes ago.