Anthony Scaramucci’s Wife, Deidre Ball, Will Receive Spine in Divorce

Sarah Huckabee listens as Anthony Scaramucci addresses an audience.

MANHASSET, NEW YORK – Anthony Scaramucci’s wife, who filed for divorce on July 24th, will receive his spine as part of the divorce settlement, her attorneys have confirmed.

“I found It in the attic. It was clear that he had not used it in years. It looked horribly neglected,” Ball recounted in a Fox News interview.

She said that she hopes to nurse Scaramucci’s malnourished spine back to health, but she emphatically stated that she has no desire to return it to her estranged husband.

“Let me ask you idiots a question: How many times have you seen a rat jump onto the Titanic? That’s exactly what this weasel has done, and I want no part in it,” Ball told CNN.

“That bitch can keep it. As long as she doesn’t take my hair gel and my collection of gaudy ties, I can deal,” Scaramucci quipped in an explosive Twitter rant.

“You look at Sean Spicer, and think ‘No one could possibly be this sycophantic and buffoonish. Then, Anthony comes crashing through the door, as if to say, ‘Hold my limoncello!’ I am disgusted,” Ball concluded with CNN by saying.   

Also contested in the divorce is a small, charcoal organ, believed to be what remains of Scaramucci’s heart.

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