Followed by a cloud of Axe cologne, an Ed Hardy-wearing Joe Biden swaggered over to the White House South Lawn to “throw hands” with Donald Trump. In an expletive-laden Twitter argument, Mad Dog Joe Biden AKA the Real Scranton Strangler, challenged the POTUS to a fist-fight with him on the White House South Lawn, calling him a “babyback b!$&h.” In turn, the president replied at 4AM to let “Crazy Uncle Joe” know that the former VP would go down hard and fast. Sources say that Obama tried to talk Biden out of stooping to that level, but Biden insisted on confronting Trump. Obama decided to support his best friend, carrying a boombox over his shoulder, whilst playing ACDC’s “Back in Black.” Mad Dog Biden waited on the South Lawn for the POTUS to show up. White House insiders report that even First Lady Melania Trump waited in giddy anticipation for the possibility of her husband’s physical altercation, peeking through the blinds of her bedroom throughout the day. However, three hours later, President Trump was a no-show. At press time, the POTUS explained that he was suffering from bone spurs, but he told reporters that had he been healthy, Biden would have been in a world of hurt. “Trust me,” he said, “nobody fights like Trump.”
