BIRMINGHAM, ALABAMA — On Wednesday, Governor Kay Ivey signed the nation’s most restrictive abortion ban into law. For Sheldon and Colleen McGregor, the news was particularly unfortunate. Last month, Colleen had discovered that she was pregnant, and was reviewing all available options when the bill was signed.
Now, according to an interview with The Millennial Snowflake, the McGregors feel that they have no legal recourse but to become anti-vaxxers.
“I mean, it makes sense when you think about it,” explained Colleen. “Abortions are illegal in this state now, but refusing to vaccinate for religious reasons? Absolutely legal. We have decided to just not give our child his vaccinations, and to let nature take its course.”
“It may seem rather cruel, but we can’t afford to have a baby, and Alabama doesn’t seem to care,” Sheldon added.
“We thought about other makeshift abortion methods: drinking bleach, throwing myself down the stairs, et cetera, but they all seemed really painful and unsafe. Seems like everyone is better off this way, including the son we don’t want and can’t afford,” Colleen said.
“I know all of this sounds inhumane, but Governor Ivey ought to have thought of that before she signed the bill.”