A Brief History and A Glimpse Into The Future of Atlanta

A Brief History and A Glimpse into the Future of Atlanta

2012: Atlantans pretend to be rich because we are just a bunch of hillbillies who don’t want to admit to a middle class income

2014: Rent doubles as investors, believing the $40k millionaires are rich, begin to build luxury mid-rises at an alarming rate. An article with little to no backing says 2.5 million people are moving to Atlanta. ParkAtlanta drives what little business we had left in the city out

2018: Construction slows to a halt as buildings sit half empty, thousands have migrated to the suburbs in search of affordable housing. Those left are forced into prostitution and side hustles to make rent

2019: Everyone lives in the suburbs and goes to Applebee’s or bowling for fun. No one has sex anymore

2020: A sewer rat with big dreams and good intentions proclaims himself the new king of Atlanta and declares war on the Amazon drones that have had a stronghold on the city’s ruins since the last humans left.

To Top