Top Story

5 Valentine’s Day Gifts That Say “This Isn’t Working Out But The Sex Is Fire”

5 valentine's day gifts that say "this isn't working out, but the sex is on fire"

Valentine’s Day is here. Hopefully, you’re celebrating your love every day and not just waiting for a holiday to pour on the romance, but if you’re in a relationship that’s on its last breaths, we’ve got just the thing for you! These are the 5 Valentine’s Day gifts that say “this isn’t working out but the sex is fire.”

Sexy Lingerie

Get her the sexiest lingerie you can find — something that she’ll look like the proverbial “whole meal” wearing. Okay, so maybe a scrapbook or a handwritten letter or a grand romantic gesture would come across as more thoughtful, but this will totally say, “the physical component of our relationship is the only thing working right now.”


The only thing sexier than lingerie is handcuffs. If you wanna get kinky, play a fun game of cop and criminal. She’s been a bad girl, am I right? Let her enjoy herself while you do all the work — she’ll love giving up control. Besides that, this gift totally says, “these cuffs are a metaphor for how stifled I feel in this relationship.”

Helicopter Ride

Go big or go home! Take bae for a helicopter ride around the city. It’s expensive and a bit over the top, but it’s a remarkable way to gain the ultimate perspective — literally! Plus, the adrenaline will work you two up into a sexual frenzy. This gift says, “this relationship is on thin ice and things are pretty desperate, so why not?”

A Stunning Dress

She looks beautiful in dresses. Plus, this Valentine’s Day gift is perfect because it allows for easy access, so you can skip straight to the one thing that’s holding you two together. She’ll appreciate this present almost as much as you!

One Free Back Rub Coupon

Handwrite a note on a sheet of paper, detailing what the coupon entails. Make it fun and flirty and give it an expiration date, so it feels more official. Obviously, once the back rub starts, it’s likely to lead to other things. This gift totally says, “I forgot to give you a real gift or was too cheap, so I made this in the hopes that it would lead to some good old fashion boning.”


To Top