Jenny Atwood found herself in a territory familiar to all too many women: Her boyfriend consistently neglects her clit.
“He’s super energetic and passionate. That’s a good thing, I think, but he just can’t seem to find my clit,” says Atwood, 27. “If he does, which is rare, he’s either too rough with it, too gentle, or he acts like he’s licking an envelope.”
Atwood decided to take matters into her own hands. Starved for her pink pearl to get the polishing it deserved, she started thinking outside the box.
These are the five fun ways she tricked her man into playing with her clit:
1. Cover It In His Favorite Condiment
They say men are like dogs. Well, Jenny found out exactly what that means first hand.
“I never thought it would work. But when I’d have to give my dog a pill, I’d put it inside wet food, so he’d eat it right up,” said Atwood. “I know my boyfriend loves peanut butter, so I decided to try a similar tactic and coat my clit in peanut butter. Before you know it, he was down there eating it up like a Scooby Snack.”
This is a very effective tactic, but we’d recommend avoiding spicy or acidic condiments like hot sauce — it’s unwise to put hot sauce on your clit even if your boyfriend loves the flavor.
2. Turn Off the Lights and Tell Him It’s a Toostie Pop
“After he caught onto the condiment tactic, I had to switch things up, so I turned off the lights and told him that my clit was a Tootsie Pop. Naturally, he wanted to see how many licks it would take to get to the center of it. That’s the longest he’s ever eaten me out for,” said Atwood.
3. Glue A Fidget Spinner to It
“I glued a fidget spinner to my clit, and almost immediately, he was flicking it round and round in small circles,” said Atwood.
We would recommend Elmer’s or a light adhesive. Gorilla or super glue could end in tragedy if applied to the clit.
4. Ambush Him
“When he falls asleep or is laying down playing a video game, just sit on his face,” said Atwood. “Grind it all over him. He’ll like it.”
5. Turn It Into A Game
“It already felt like a hide and seek before — but he couldn’t ever find my clit,” said Atwood. “So I decided to actually turn it into a game, and if he was able to find my clit and bring me to climax, I’d tell him he has a monster dick. He loves words of affirmation, so it’s sort of my version of Pavlov’s bell.”
