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Poll: 150% of Americans Prefer to Decry ‘Fake News’ than Check Their Goddamned Sources

UNITED STATES OF AMERICA – A new Gallup poll indicates that roughly 150% of Americans would rather blame “fake news” for misinformation, rather than take personal responsibility for the sources that they share on social media.

“Who has time to verify sources anymore, or fact-check dubious claims? I’ve got better things to do than read something before I spread it all over the internet,” remarked a defensive Charles Smith, a freelance blogger, who believes that Kennedy murdered Marilyn Monroe in order to prevent a terrorist attack.

“I blame Putin. First, he steals the election from Hillary, and now he and his borscht-loving horde are assaulting the very notion of journalistic integrity. It’s all a misogynistic conspiracy,” fumed Kathy Derango, as she proudly sported a “Nasty Woman” shirt. According to her high school yearbook, Ms. Derango was unanimously voted “Most Gullible” in high school, which she believed was a compliment for years.

“The fake news media bands together; all an effort to discredit our President, Donald J. Trump,” shouted Ennis Decker, a toothless deplorable, who once wrote Senator Cruz several strongly worded letters, arguing that marriage to one’s first cousin should be legal in the state of Texas. “In the good ol’ days, spreadin’ lies about yer leader got yeh killed! Now, libtards get to do whatever they want, while the damn gubment says I’m not allowed to marry the woman I love!”

Ever since the release of this troubling data, sociologists all throughout the country have been struggling to explain this bizarre phenomenon, so conveniently referred to as “fake news.”

“It seems that, whether one considers oneself a bleeding heart liberal, a hardened conservative, or whatever the fuck Alex Jones is on the political spectrum, the level of accountability among American consumers of media has sharply declined. Many of my colleagues at Notta Diploma Mill University attribute this development to the ways in which television and the internet have lowered attention spans in first world countries. Me? I don’t believe that. After several years of scouring the internet, I hypothesize that the lizard people and the Rothchilds have formed an unholy alliance, and are poisoning the minds of millions of Americans with voodoo,” postulated Dr. Nikolaev, who received his doctoral degree for the low cost of $39.99, plus shipping and handling.

While it is unclear just how the post-truth era will end, we here at The Millennial Snowflake are not sure whether we want to live long enough to find out.

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